I've been back for three weeks, and it has been three of the hardest weeks of my life. For those that know my story, I am usually the one that has everything all planned out. I've wanted to teach since I was 7, do ministry since I was 13, by 16 I knew where I was going to University and what I was going to study, and by 18 I had the rest of my life sorted.... so I thought. Within the last four and a half years my life has been turned upside down by the One who has a greater plan.
I'm still living in that trust that His will and plan will be revealed in His time.
Going from living with "my" plan, I am currently living in uncertainty. I'm unsure what is next - I don't know the future, but I know who does - and in Him I trust. I have a lot of options, to say the least, but I don't know which way to move. I can't even take a first step because I have no idea where the road is. This is where I learn what it means to rely.
My new motto is: I don't know, but be simple. And although I still laugh when I read that, it's utter truth. I have to set aside everything - and come humbly before my Savior.
Psalm 25 has been a go-to passage these weeks of uncertainty, and here is what stuck out:
"To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust... Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long... He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them His way. All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of His covenant... He will instruct him in the way chosen for Him...The Lord confides in those who fear Him, he makes His covenant known to Him.."
That is my heart. That is my calling - to proclaim who He is. I am learning to wait patiently for instructions as to the what my next step should be. Continually in awe that God wants to use me - that He wants to give life, joy, and hope to someone unworthy - how great is our God!!!
patience.humility.trust.
Living in uncertainty running with abandon toward my Savior.
