For those who don’t know my recent story, I yet again fell into the realm of: I have it all figured out. Everything was “working out” for me, I had no complaints. When I was in England leading a UMHB team, God brought healing to my recent brokenness, and grew my passion to move there permanently – there was even a possible opportunity to work at a school in an area I really wanted to do ministry in…. But God. ..
See I’ve always loved that part of scripture – you know, when something is going one way, and then it says: But God, and then you know something is about to happen! The storm commences. Within a week, I was back to square one. I fought through questioning my calling to England, questioning my passion for teaching, and was quite depressed. I was watching things unfold nicely for pretty much every friend I have, and I just didn’t and still don’t understand why things weren’t/aren’t working out when I am SO willing to go and do anything. But God…
God is still speaking – He is the only one that knows my heart, and gave me a desire to live in England, teach, and proclaim who He is. God is still there – literally the only thing I am clinging to and relying upon. God is still sovereign – His plan will happen, even if there is a period of waiting. So in the wait time, when I’m completely unsure of literally everything, and I’m living hour to hour, I’m learning what it means to hope.
From My Utmost for His Highest:
“Are you prepared to abandon entirely and let go? The test of abandonment is in refusing to say – Well what about this?”
“He goes on stretching till His purpose is in sight, then He lets fly. Trust yourself in Gods hands.”
“The knowledge that God has loved me to the uttermost will send me forth into the world to love in the same way.”
“There may be any number of things dark to your understanding, but they do not come in between your heart and God.”
“When Gods needs in us have been met, he will open the way for us to realize His needs elsewhere.”
“Launch all on God, go out on the great swelling tide of his purpose, and you will get your eyes open. If you believe in Jesus, you are not spend all your time in the smooth waters…you have to get out through the harbor bar into the great deeps of God and begin to know for yourself, begin to have spiritual discernment.”
I am literally launching all on God, abandoning everything, and waiting patiently for Him to move. I’m thankful that He understands: Romans 8:24-26.
Oswald will do it every time :) Loved that. My husband is going through a similar struggle. God has planted a dream in his heart, even for GOD's glory, lol, but pieces will appear to be coming together and then they stop. I am going to send this to him and I know he will be encouraged! Thank you!
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